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On a retrouvé le Roi Charzat !

Le bon roi Charzat, comme chacun sait, a été renversé en 2008 par ses anciens sujets, dans l'ingratitude et la forfaiture. Certaines rumeurs disent qu'un groupe de gauchistes anarchisants aurait par ses délires défrichants contribué à jeter l'opprobre et la calomnie sur la bienveillance sans limite du souverain désormais déchu.Trahi par les siens, renié par ses obligés, Michel Premier, Roi des Gambettes et des Vignolènes, s'en alla seul en exil dans les terres civilisées du Grand Ouest. Mais sa conscience n'était pas en paix. L'injustice du peuple à son endroit, l'insupportable volte-face de ses alliés, ses amis, presque ses frères, ne lui laissaient aucun instant de paix. Cet homme de droiture, épris de solidarité, comme il aimait à le répéter, ne parvenait pas à accepter le jeu infâme dont il avait fini par faire les frais. Après plusieurs années de souffrances et d'imploration, il décida qu'il était temps de rebondir, de réagir, de prendre les choses en main, bref, de redevenir le winner qu'il n'avait jamais cessé d'être, au fond. Fermement décidé à revenir sur la scène publique, poussé par une abnégation qui confine à la sainteté, se sacrifiant pour la cause publique et par amour pour son peuple, il prit rendez-vous chez le meilleur chirurgien esthétique du royaume, et ni vu ni connu, il se fit remouler la frimousse. Malgré ses hésitations, il fini par se laisser convaincre d'ajouter un petit détail à sa nouvelle élégance. Le magicien du scalpel qu'il avait choisi, véritable artiste de la refonte faciale, aux références inégalables (par exemple, il avait dans son jeune temps prouvé ses talents lors d'un voyage Outre-Atlantique, en opérant avec succès le grand Elvis Presley, que tout le monde croit mort depuis) lui expliqua que les petits détails ont plus d'importance que les grands traits, si le Roi Charzat acceptait de se laisser inoculer un léger défaut, comme un petit zozotement, par exemple, il était assuré de n'être jamais démasqué. Prêt à tout, le souverain déchu accepta. Il subit une longue opération et souffrit beaucoup, en passant des mois entiers enturbanné comme un sauvage dans des bandelettes de gaze. Lorsqu'il fut enfin libéré de sa prison en coton, il réapprit à bouger ses mâchoires, et ce fut un instant de grâce que même les sourds purent ressentir (surtout eux disent les mauvaises langues). Devant une assistance comme envoutée, le Roi Charzat demanda un pot de chambre à l'infirmière, faisant ainsi revivre son légendaire français châtier, qu'il maniait toujours avec cette dextérité emplie de finesse qui avait forgé sa réputation. C'est ainsi que repartant de rien, simple courtisan parmi les courtisans, il se fit passer pour l'oncle d'un noble éphèbe, revenu d'un long voyage dans les colonies, et gravit un à un tous les échelons du pouvoir, en ne comptant, comme d'habitude, que sur sa probité exceptionnelle. Depuis peu de temps, le Roi Charzat, sous un autre nom bien entendu, a retrouvé un bureau, un logo, et une cause à défendre. Il exhale toujours la même joie de vivre et la même intelligence, je suis fier de vous faire partager le Retour du Roi Charzat (sous couverture)! Sonnez, trompettes!


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